Having a break is all very well and good, however there is always that time when you need to come back to the bike. If you let yourself go too much during your offy, you might find the weekend warriors of the morning bunch rides may just hand you an ?arse whooping?. At this point you would be wishing that you had just taken it a little easier on that banana-chocolate ?clair or had said no to the 3rd helping of lemon curd cheese cake. At any rate you sleep soundly knowing that in a few weeks the km?s will be ticking over and while you may not live down the fact that you were schooled on that morning bunch ride, you will soon be returning the basket of pain they so graciously handed to you.
How to tackle the offy? After some stern words of warning form the big man, I was considering taking an alternate path to the more traditional approach of committing every sin known to a pro cyclist??behave?.This really doesn?t appeal to the masses; however it did result in the prospect of less work when I returned to the bike. Plans work well until you are faced with a day in a world of culinary treats. The Vic market was destination flavour, and I could not resist the temptation of the deli meats, the fresh warm breads and the exotic foods, both sensational in sight and smell. A bit of tasting here and a lot of tasting there, after all, it was only one day?
Temptations aside, I was adhering to a strict exercise regime (out of one routine and into another). Gym was the new arena of choice and brought with it a weird world of body conscious middle aged men and women and over confident teenage boys who, to be honest, could have given me a hiding for my lunch money. I know that the supremely intimidating power of my fearsome chin up ability had the other gym members trembling as I entered the room. However just to be sure I didn?t see any need to aggravate the ?man child? dead-lifting the car in the corner. For me the gym was the only place I could exercise without further agitating my tibius anterior (strained at the Melbourne to Warrnambool). On top of this the girl that works there made every trip to the gym about 10 times easier, however the main reason for the gym was the fact that I could not sit still without feeling like I was getting fat. After working your arse off all year, doing nothing but twiddling your thumbs and watching midday soap re-runs doesn?t come easy. Well at least not to me, although it could just be a mild case of ADHD kicking in. So I was successfully converted from cyclist to gym junky!
Aside from looking scrawny at the gym every day I was known to paddle in the aquatic arena a few times a week. Mind you after my first visit in about 3 years to a swimming pool I soon discovered that swimming was not easily forgotten however neither was it naturally remembered. I got half way down the pool in significant form only to find my lungs cramping and the water starting to replace the air in my wind pipe. I spluttered in a seizure of weird flailing arms and deep breaths until I realized that I simply needed to stand up. I looked around a bit sheepishly to find the 10 year olds a few lanes over were having far more success than myself. A few more trips to the pool allowed me to swim the length of the pool without the need to summon a lifeguard; however I may have swallowed my fair share of nutrient rich pool water along the way.
Of course what break would be complete without the plethora of ideas and ?themes of the week?. First up there was the ?master chef idea?.Those judges have the best job in the world. ?Mmmmm crap, crapper, better, best. So who wants to feed me next?? While this seems simple enough I believe they are onto something with the ?taste everything but only a little of everything?.The only catch being that with all those flavours and delicious food on offer, one can get lost in the tasting and forget to?well?stop tasting. Next was the ?intermittent fasting? theme. This was an interesting idea, until I didn?t eat for 24hrs and then rebounded like a garbage truck on fast forward. When at first you don?t succeed try and try again?and then fail and rebound and fail and rebound. It was like free throws at an under 11?s basketball game, he shoots, he misses?rebound and he shoots again. Odds are you will land one, right? Wrong. It wasn?t much fun and I found it didn?t really work. Hoops aside there was one more ?theme of the week?. Just be normal. Enjoy yourself and have some treats because life is too short to have too many hang ups. I?m glad I only adopted this for the last few days of my break as self-control may have become an issue.
All in all, this entire break has been pretty hectic. That ever growing list of jobs that has accumulated over the year has been significantly hacked apart, and there were a few functions and parties attended. Although time has gone quickly, in some respects not quick enough. It was about a week ago that I was thinking I am really enjoying myself, simply happy and content, then a few days later it was like a switch had been flicked, a small explosion from within slowly expanding, a wave of desire; the desire to ride again. There is only so long you can keep a cyclist away from the bike and for most of us, we would rather have our teeth pulled than stay away from the bike for too long. As I write this I am on the last day of my break, one last hurrah, before its ?scales and salads?. Honestly I can?t wait!
